i finally watched the silence of the lambs, after having read the book years ago and having read hannibal several times in the last year.
i understand now.
.
.
.
[also i feel like i am in a secret club. muahahahaha.]
man i love this book so much that i will pretty much just automatically reblog anything even remotely related to it
(Source: theindiefillie, via aneongirl)
hate hate hate letting my friends down. it’s so much harder now that i have such good friends because i don’t want to hurt them so it’s tempting to hide my entire eating disorder and self harm cycle but then i tell people and it makes them upset and i hate making anyone upset and even just writing this is making me tear up and i just wish that this never happened like this.
also consider this the apology/explanation for the previous set of posts. i’m sort of broken tonight.
(via edgirlproblems)
![i’m training for a 5k obstacle race so that i’ll try to kick my own ass into the goal of “overall fitness regardless of weight.” the problem is that i can’t train because no one at home monitors my eating and i’ll go an entire workout [and the rest of the day] on just half an energy bar and some water. and then i almost pass out on the treadmill and i have no stamina and it’s just bad in general and i wish it wasn’t like this.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m327smlMvp1roonslo1_500.png)
i’m training for a 5k obstacle race so that i’ll try to kick my own ass into the goal of “overall fitness regardless of weight.” the problem is that i can’t train because no one at home monitors my eating and i’ll go an entire workout [and the rest of the day] on just half an energy bar and some water. and then i almost pass out on the treadmill and i have no stamina and it’s just bad in general and i wish it wasn’t like this.
(via edgirlproblems)
i’m pretty sure this is why i haven’t lost any weight while i’ve been home, despite my parents putting me on weight watchers and pills and pretty much just straight up telling me to exercise. and i hate hate hate it. i mean when i’m rational i think that as long as i’m gaining muscle i shouldn’t be concerned about the number but when i’m like this all bets are kind of off.
(via edgirlproblems)
i got in a fight with my roommate once because it was like 1AM and i decided i was going to go run a mile to kill the calories i ate while studying. i have learned that in that situation i am pretty much never right. the good news is i’m learning i guess?
(via edgirlproblems)
file under: this happened to me this semester. that is how much i was throwing up.
(via edgirlproblems)
probably seven or eight times a day? and then like i just don’t make any progress because i panic about the weight i “gained” by getting dressed for the day.
(via edgirlproblems)
![like literally even as i sit here eating easymac, i’m kicking my own ass about it, because i already had a cup of soup [as in the measure, not a mug] and a bowl of watermelon and a little bit of greek salad today. and that’s too much for me.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m39genIBhZ1roonslo1_500.png)
like literally even as i sit here eating easymac, i’m kicking my own ass about it, because i already had a cup of soup [as in the measure, not a mug] and a bowl of watermelon and a little bit of greek salad today. and that’s too much for me.
(via edgirlproblems)
